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Patron Na 'To

What day is it, and in what month, this clock never seemed so alive.

Can’t… breathe…

Lifehouse. Concert. 26th. July. Here. In Araneta. Here. In Manila.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Di ba obvious na love mo mga kanta nila? This site is even an allusion to them: in case no one noticed, you categorized your posts according to their songs.

Anyway, sa tagal mo nang pinagdadasal ‘to, parang ikaw pa ang huling nakaalam. Son even kidded you na sold out na raw and in a panic you called up Ticketnet just to confirm. Sheeet. To make up for scaring you, he was trying to convince you to get the front row seats. “Lifehouse yan noh… patron or nothing ka dapat Dons!”

You asked anyone who cared or you think who’d care to accompany you, but unlike most (si Z grabe, nagulat ka na excited siya para sayo eh di naman siya super into their music; you’d make H regret wala siya sa pinas as well) some are not as enthusiastic. Oh well.

KAHIT MAG-ISA KA PA, MAGKAMATAYAN NA, YOU’D BE THERE!!! Waah! Lifehouse!!!

P.S. Hmm, dapat masaya ang oras na ‘to… but how come he always has a way of making you feel terrible about the bestest of things. Nakakapagtaka talaga ka tigasan ng mukha (at puso) mo why do you still bother if you knew you’d only end up complaining. Tigilan na kasi. Whatever It Takes!!!

It sucks to be you

Until I fall away
I don’t know what to do anymore.

He happens to be humiliatingly right, of course. It would just be another pointless, long winding conversation he would always, always try to avoid. But the truth is, you just can never wholly admit, at least not to his (or anyone else’s) face, that you’re sick of having to deal with the fact that he’s never gonna love you in the same way you love him. Kasi tama bang sabihan ka na “Kapag naiisip mo palang, wag mo nang isipin”? The hell.

O ayan niamin mo na. Accept that, and pwede ka na talagang mamatay. :( Bakit kelangang pwersahin ka pa para layasan ang sitwasyong ito? Nakakakagago na ah.
When there’s no good answers -F.O. nalang ba talaga ang sagot?
And no new questions
Another personal disaster
There’s nowhere to go but down…
Di ka mamatay-matay with a broken heart…
P.S. Kaya ba buhay ka pa?

Two sightings

Waiting far too long for something I forgot was wrong
I don’t know all the answers I think that I’ll find
Or have it within the time but it’s all that I’ll have in mind
Until I fall away that won’t keep us waiting long

Both happened at the same night, in UP:

First sighting was finally getting a glimpse of “MA Guy” again after the summer. You told yourself that if ever he will be a classmate, you’d go for it. Mwahaha. But sorry, you guess it won’t be this semester. Anyway, you were talking to TEG peeps in front of your classroom when you suddenly found yourself stopping in mid-sentence, your face breaking into a huge smile (you think it was a smile, sana hindi ka nga lang nakakanganga ng matagal). He passed by and, well, he smiled too (you think it was at you, but “you can never can tell” really, lol, it was so insignificant, baka dahil mukha ka lang tanga nung nakita mo siya). Eek. Sa normal na ka-weirdohan mo (or they’re simply not paying attention), di naman nakahalata ang TEG classmates thank god. :D

Second was a different almost encounter with a different, uh, human being (???), uh, almost forgettable if not only for the fact that you just felt like dying afterwards. You saw, uh, someone you never really expected to see in the middle of nowhere (you indulged I’s request kasi to walk with her to the pool) while waiting for a Philcoa ride. Right, you didn’t expect to see him by chance, not that early, and not last night at least, but you were thinking what if lang you happen to just meet as each jeepney (which is not a Philcoa jeep) passed you by. Ayun, at the exact moment (swear) na kakaisip mo pa lang sa posibilidad na yun, bigla mong nasulyapan his narcoleptic self thrown on the front seat of a jeep. Wala lang, you were caught by surprise because of the triviality of the situation, at para ka nang nasusuka. Nakakairita. Nakakaiyak. :( Panira ng gabi (ng buhay kaya) ang epekto ng taong yan sa sistema mo.
There goes a couple of sightings that made no difference in this world except to torture you no end. People can walk or ride away from you, just like that.

Until I fall away, I don’t know what to do anymore
Until I fall away…
My fear pretend that I’ll never be in love again.

P.S. Tsk. Wearing your heart on your sleeve as usual.

The Internet is For Porn

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill ‘em.

You’ll never use muppetry again (as if you had) in any of your preschool classes after watching the farewell run of Avenue Q in the CPR Auditorium in RCBC Plaza, Makati. It’s such a hilarious musical, and your favorite would always be “If You Were Gay” but “There’s a Fine, Fine Line” and “I Wish I Could Go Back to College” struck chords of course. The moment you heard Princeton belting out “What Do You Do with a B.A. in English?” being followed by “It Sucks to Be Me”, you knew the soundtrack would be playing in your head for weeks. Son and TJ joked it will be the next production for the year-end moving up activity. Lol.

P.S. The Internet is For Porn reminds you of… ahaha.
P.P.S. Ang sad nung “Fantasies Come True”. You feel for Rod, lol. Hmp. Schadenfreude. :p

First day high... or blues.

Just when you thought you’d never get over missing your Kinder 1 kids from the previous year… you’re pleasantly surprised to know you already love your new set of kids na. May mga may topak, may mga iyakin, ang kukulit nila pero lahat sila… super sweet. Aww. It was a great first day.

P.S. Nakakapagod. And so, every year is a new year. :)

The post declaring the conclusion of your summer

I will surely break as I’m leaving the one I want to take.

One of the best ways to conclude this year’s summer was of course, to go on a usual beach trip. But no, you have knack of being such a masochist that you just have to delve into the realm of hiking and insist on joining a trek to Mt. Pundaquit to get to the shores of the breathtaking Anawangin (literal na breathtaking because of all the trekking you have to go through hah).

Your colleagues tried to dissuade you when they found out you’ll be exerting this much effort to get away for the weekend. The first day of classes starts on Monday, and they would be missing a teacher if something happens to you. “Baka mawala o makidnap ka,” they griped. N was so worried she’d be handling the class on her own. Your mom even texted you: “Sigurado ka ba?” You’re not sure whether to feel insulted or touched by their concern. But come on, with your build and health conditions? Kaya mo ba?

Madali lang naman daw, pinangatawanan mo nalang.

You could only laugh now. You told yourself you won’t ever complain kahit ikamatay mo pa, but you eventually begged your mates to just roll you downhill out of exhaustion. You only brought three liters of water and you already consumed two thirds of it after reaching the summit. You almost lost one of your toes while going down and you have to get by munching trail food and controlling your bladder (your real one, not the water container) every so often because you can’t pee anywhere (well, technically, one can, but for you, it’s quite embarrassing to squat behind some bushes with five guys in the group). Gusto mo talagang humalik sa buhangin nung marating nyo na yung dagat.

It was a blast though. The place is great for induction climbs and the camping site’s so pretty, with the pine trees bordering the beach front and all. Di nga ganong kalinaw yung tubig sa dagat pero sobrang saya yung lakas ng alon, enjoy yung boat ride going back to Brgy. Pundaquit. The socials were also something to look forward to as you realized the sheer magnanimity of having strangers look after you. You got to know new people and bond with them by drinking water from a deep well made palatable (not necessarily potable) with powdered iced tea and enduring a mild bout of 20 questions in between gin shots and chasers. And maybe you’ll never get to climb mountains again (almost losing a toe, god), but at least you crossed off one of the things you’ve been itching to try right before scuba diving and hand gliding. Heh. Asa. P. (pre) P.S. Nakakainis lang na peste isang tao diyan tuloy nagpakapeste ka rin. Even after all the enjoyment, this trip was quite a slap in the face. Pout.
P.S. Nakakainis din na it’s your first time to record an actual trail and your gps refused to work. Wala ring signal mobile networks sa area, pero di naman gano nakakainis yun -refreshing nga na di ka ma contact for a good number of hours.
P.P.S. Pasukan na bukas but Baler, Aurora’s next kung matuloy sa July, yay!